“Rape is one of the most terrible crimes on earth. The problem with groups who deal with rape is that they try to educate women about how to defend themselves. What really needs to be done is to teach man not to rape, to go to the source and start there.”—Kurt Cobain
If you’re trying to present yourself as someone who was a loner in high school, let’s do a quick review of Jerome David Salinger.
(1 and 2 are no longer relevant since Salinger is finally dead, but click the link if you still want some out of date entertainment.)
3. As a Salinger fan, Catcher in the Rye is not your favorite book. Catcher in the Rye is the favorite book of people who haven’t read any other book.
4. If you’re trying to impress a girl, say Franny and Zooey is your favorite book (makes you seem sensitive). Tell them that you thought Lane was a douchebag.
4. If you’re trying to impress a guy, say you love Nine Stories and then say: “The ending to A Perfect Day for Bananafish forever changed my opinion about short stories. The ending was so insane!” If they heartily agree with you, crack them up by proclaiming, “I see you’re looking at my feet”.